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Vladimir Putin tells a Russian Spy Joke

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Description

Here's the transcript of the joke told by Vladimir Putin in Russian. Please, see the English translation below.

Russian transcript

Челове́к пришёл на Лубя́нку и говори́т:
– Я шпио́н, хочу́ сда́ться.

Ему́ говоря́т:
– А Вы, чей шпио́н?

Говори́т:
– Америка́нский.
– Ну, тогда́ в пя́тую ко́мнату.

Он пошёл в пя́тую ко́мнату:
– Я америка́нский шпио́н, хочу́ сда́ться.
– А у Вас ору́жие есть?
– Есть.
– В седьму́ю, пожа́луйста.

Он в седьму́ю:
– Я шпио́н, хочу́ сда́ться, у меня́ есть ору́жие.
– В деся́тую.

Ну, в деся́тую:
– Я шпио́н, хочу́ сда́ться, у меня́ есть ору́жие.
– А сре́дства свя́зи есть?
– Есть.
– В двацатую ко́мнату.

Пришёл:
– Я шпио́н, у меня́ есть ору́жие, сре́дства свя́зи, я хочу́ сда́ться.

Его́ спра́шивают:
– А зада́ние то у Вас есть?
– Есть.
– Ну, иди́те и исполня́йте. Не меша́йте лю́дям рабо́тать!

English Translation

A man comes to Lubyanka (KGB headquarters) and says:
- I am a spy, I want to surrender.

He is asked:
- Whose spy are you?

He says:
- I am an American spy.
- Well, then, you need to go to room #5.

He goes to the room #5:
- I am an American spy, I want to surrender.
- Do you have weapons?
- Yes, I do.
- Please go to room #7.

He goes to the room #7:
- I'm a spy, I want to surrender, I have weapons.
- Please go to room #10.

He goes to the room #10:
- I'm a spy, I want to surrender, I have weapons.
- Do yo have communications equipment?
- Yes, I do.
- Please go to room #20.

He arrives to the room #20:
- I'm a spy, I have weapons and communications equipment, and I want to surrender.

He is asked:
- Do you have a mission?
- Yes, I do.
- Well, then go and execute your mission. Stop distracting people from their work!

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